Every day, so much mail
I thank you all
For your well wishes
And the kind offers
of those Tiny Teens
Sukn Fukn just for me
Paris Hilton uncut,
Barely legal, and free.

And generic viagra; the weekend pill
Codine, Tylenol, Ambien too
Prescription drugs
Straight to my door
Premature aging? Not anymore
You don’t know how much this all means to me.

And for being so honest
On the sensitive topic
Of my inadaqute genitals
And for offering to help
Painlessly, and without surgery
I Thank You
But I think I’ll Pass on this one.

And Mr Oladimeji Afolabi it is
In times such as these
A great comfort to know
That someone would place
Such trust in me
It makes one wish to weep

And to those people
With kind offers
Of low cost loans
And debt consolidation
And all the qualifications
A guy like me could need
Through the mail
Guarantee’d satisfaction.

But such enthusiasm
And effort
Day after day
Is overwhelming
And you should stop
No, Really

Something to say?