So after years of people dropping hints I’ve finally joined deviantART… hoping it might inspire me to be more productive. As usually I can now not find nor remember who suggested I go there. Anyone else signed up or using it? (also in the links at the top of my LiveJournal)

The Arse Goblins

My daddy is a farter,and it stinks an awful lot.He says there are goblins up his arse,cooking old peppers in a pot. My daddy thought it funny.My mummy was dismayed.She made daddy see a doctor,But the goblins chased him away. So Mummy took Daddy to hospital,Where they sent police dogs up his arse,They took all … Read more

A Prayer for Peace

“Please forward this too all your friends on livejournal, myspace etc. The more people we can get to pray then the more likely it is to work. You must believe…” etc. Oh Lord…. He’s had his three score and ten, I think now it’s time to, take Ian Paisley, up into your loving arms. Stroke … Read more


On Thursday my medication ran out. I never meant for that to happen, but with a combination of me working a few extra hours and the whole stress surrounding Cliffords funeral I completely forgot to get a reknewal. Now I’m suffering through the weekend from hell.

Read more

Sleep now

I wish to slip away A little death Just for a while To have a rest Please watch my body While I’m dead Make sure no animal Steals my head

I have no taste

Sssh, my friend Please do not cry Uncrumple your theorem Wipe that tear from your eye For I hear your opinion I think that too but I’m a freak and so are you. And everybody else is right.

I keep fish.

red and yellow goldfish in a tank

I keep them in a small tank. I had many at one time but now I only have three. This may be due to the size of the tank.

Their names are Gerry, Margolies & Fitz. Fitz vanishes. Much of the time you would only see two fish. Once I moved the ornaments around, removed the plants and even disturbed the stones at the bottom and I couldn’t find him. I had theorised that the cat took him. If so the cat would bring him back again. I couldn’t ever explain it, but then I never really tried.

Read more

Note on week-old corpse

Dear Father,

I owe you an explaination for this. Perhaps I owe it to others too, but especially to you.

I wish things could have been different. I wish things didn’t have to end this way. I wish we could have had a better relationship. I wish I could have been a better son. I wish I could have been less of a dissapointment. I wish I could have lived up to your expectations. I wish a lot of things, that’s always been my problem.

Read more


I stood in the corner watching the crows. Vaguely I was aware that someone was talking to me excitedly but I’d tuned out their voice and the voices of the others long ago.

People milled around the room peering at the installations I had created for my own amusement. Hunks of universal crap that I had lost interest in well before these people got told they existed and would somehow enrich their lives and increase their social standing to be seen near.

My mind momentarily returned to this realm.

Read more

It began with the itch…

The absent minded scratching at one area. “You keep scratching that arm, what is it?”. A bite? A hive? Some allergic reaction perhaps. I’ve had such reactions. This seemed more like a bite.

I searched for days for evidence of insect infestation finding nothing. I accepted that it could be some kind of allergic reaction. I’ve become a virtual vegan over the past few months. Existing largely on bags of fresh mixed leaves and lentils. Soya and tofu. It’s possible that one of them any new foods I’m eating my body is somehow intolerant to.

But I couldn’t escape the idea that these were bites of some kind. I spent two days cleaning my home. I covered all carpets in anti-flea powder and vaccuumed extensively. I cleaned all surfaces I could see and many I couldn’t. I washed all coverings and furnishings. The itch increased. I developed more of the rashes. Behind both elbows, my knees, behind my ears. On my lower arms. Even on my chest.

Read more