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The Nigerian Relations Shortage

Rampant contraception has left Ibrahim an only child

A recent email from the BBC [newsnight] team has made me aware of a problem that doesn’t seem to be featured in the media to any real degree and has been largely overlooked by the public. This is the current lack of usable relatives and next-of-kin in Nigeria and other parts of West Africa. This shortage is at such a stage where Nigerian citizens are requiring the use of complete strangers in western countries to safeguard large amounts of money. As you can imagine this leaves most of them open to fraud and exploitation by the largely corrupt and selfish peoples of the West who could quite easily bankrupt entire Nigerian Towns for their own gain, purely on the mistaken and desperate naivety of the more undereducated citizens of nigeria who want nothing more than to make sure their hard earned wealth is not taken and squandered by the corrupt western puppet governments that have been installed in their country.

To protect the unfortunate citizens charities have been set up an soon registered charity workers will be calling door to door and leaving special bags or boxes and setting up collection points at central areas in most towns and cities in the UK, and in out of town shopping complexes for people to donate unused and unwanted relatives, relations and next of kin. Of course to save time and waste they will only be wanting usable next of kin in respectable condition, preferably pre-washed. These will then be gathered by volunteers and flown to the needy people of Nigeria to help alleviate this deplorable situation.

Filed under: Satire

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Lazy Peon. Hardware Monkey. Real-ale Bore. Stupid Mick.

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