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St. Patty’s Day

Annual holiday in the US to celebrate the life of failed female industrialist and notorious public alcoholic Patricia Hoffgarden who famously saved the Brooklyn Dodgers from being eaten by wolves. It is observed by liberal consumption of alcohol and the colouring of things green which was for many years erroneously considered Patricia’s favourite colour but in actual fact, due to a neurological disorder called Clampetts Syndrome, the only colour that didn’t cause her intense pain and disorientation.

Patricia passed away in 1903 at the age of 86 after punching a bull that she mistook for her late husband.

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Lazy Peon. Hardware Monkey. Real-ale Bore. Stupid Mick.

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