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Ireland Facts

  • Post-boxes in Ireland are merely ornamental. Ireland has no working postal service. The residents corrispond with each other via columns in the local newspaper, bills for services are taken at the local pubs in the form of drinks and parcels are delivered by an old man called Shaun who has a horse and cart.
  • The majority of the open cases handled by the Irish police force, An Garda Síochána, contain malt whiskey.
  • Ireland has no traffic laws, indeed you do not need a license to drive a car or even be capable of driving a car to own and drive on on the roads.
  • All Irish roads are two way despite being only 1.5 metres in width. The accommodate vehicle traffic, animals and pedestrians. Drivers can chose which side they wish to drive on however mostly, due to the relative size of the roadways, they use both.
  • Because much of Ireland’s revenue is generated by the sale of alcohol it is considered treasonous to not drink regularly and people who do not maintain the appropriate blood-alcohol level risk imprisonment.
  • In order to keep the Irish love of literature alive pubs are closed during Library opening hours to encourage reading. Because of this Libraries in ireland open for half an hour a day on weekdays and are closed on weekends and bank holidays.
  • Ireland has 168 bank holidays a year.
  • Traditional Irish dishes include sweet and sour chicken balls and chips, donor kebab and Pringles™.
  • Under Irish free-state law politicians are exempt from prosecution for crimes, because of this many of them drive drunk, watch TV without a license, claim unemployment benefit while working and keep rented DVDs out for weeks on end.
  • U2 vocalist Bono owns 46% of the land in Ireland. Mostly on the eastern side. Under Irish traditional laws should he ever reach 51% he will by default become king of Ireland. He is already king of Leinster which entitles him to chose any woman in the kingdom over 13 as his wife and 10% of the annual potato crop.
  • 89% of Americans are of Irish descent. Famous Irish Americans include Elliot Gould, Joe Pesci and Samuel L. Jackson.

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Lazy Peon. Hardware Monkey. Real-ale Bore. Stupid Mick.

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