Another rant about kids today…

What really gets my already overworked and downtrodden goat is uppity little online wankers who’ve had their AOL connection for a year and think that if you don’t type like you have are retarded then “ur a n3w-B”. Reminds me of those old BBS sysop v User stories when the kid had been online for a few weeks and thougth he was a pH3aK0R.

[here, I don’t know who originally wrote these and have seen at least three sites with different people claiming credit]

I’ve been accused of being a nu-B because i didn’t know what A/S/L? meant. I though it was a band… no, I tell a lie, I actually didn’t care. I also didn’t care for the time I took while a small child on Napster explained it to me in a self-satisfied manner thinking, no doubt, that he was a wise net guru explaining the terminology… I berated him for wasting my time with trivialities and he threatened me with all sorts of l33t evilz. Well I’m guessing he did. I’d blocked him fairly quickly after I realised he was a timewaster, but I know the type.

I guess we were all like this in the beginning yes? Well no… I think a lot of poeple come online and learn the ways without becoming a pompous little arsehole.

the thing that disturbs me most about online speak is the effect it will have on language in general. It’s generally used by people of low intelligence and ultimately can only result in a general dumbing down of language. Originally it evolved from the abbreviated terms used when bandwidth was so limited that each word cost money so you would naturally shorten it. People would type ‘u’ instead of ‘you’ not because it was ‘kEwl’ but because it was one byte instead of three. Sadly the ignorant thought this a wonderful new fashionable style of writing and started to use it and promote it as a language for the 21st century. Ironic they think… no, just dumb. A deevolution in communication. What will be next? Smearing their faces in their own excretia before they go to war?

In recent years this depricated communication form has been amalgamated with ‘ghetto speak’. A lingo taken from the ‘ghettos’ of inner city areas in the US, where living in a ghetto is now considered cool rather than the horrifying situsation it used to be that many great people in the US and other countries strived to greatness by getting away from. Sadly sometime during the 80s someone killed two birds with one stone by trapping young black americans and hispanics in the ghettos by making it ‘fashionable’ so they would no longer desire to leave and enter politics or become high ranking businessmen and to better themselves and have more influence on the world. This person also signed young rappers from the ghettos to all exclusive record deals to make immense amounts of money off them like modern day golden geese. This semi-backfired and the US inner city ghetto lifestyle is now seen in many countries as the ultimate in ‘cool’ and adopted by many middle class white kids the world over. I say semi- as the record companies still make immense amounts of cash from it like gaggle of highly fertile golden geese but their kids wish they were black. A terrible thing for many middle class white ammericans to suffer.

Not quite as horrible as the anguish no doubt suffered by those people who crawled their way out of ghettos to better lives who now look back and see so many people who’ve shit themselves and rather than swallow their pride, clean up the shit and get some fresh pants… have instead decided to make the concept of shitting yourself ‘cool’ so they never again have to clean their underwear. Ironic they think… No, just deeply depressing.

So language is evolving into mutated disfigured shape that is no longer as expressive or usable. What happens then? Well those who kept a distance from the phenomenon and subsequently retained some semblence of intelligence can manipulate this monster from a safe distance. Kids who grow up purely speaking this new lingo will find it hard to get jobs above the level of burger flipper and many will opt for unemployment, or crime, or aim themselves at the miunderstood and misleading idea of celebrity superstardom which to many is the ultimate peak of human achievement, meanwhile the new elite sit back and run it all in secret from their media towers and watch the battery farmed golden eggs roll off the production line. Many stars have already adopted the new language in order to communicate with their fans and worshippers from whom they draw the power to remain on top of the heap. Adaption to modern trends is a very important ability to those who wish to keep status of godhood. The leaf that follows the wind will go far. Those that do not fall from the sky to rot… for many leaves this is preferable to going back to flipping burgers.

Something to say?